I love to way you're putting this. I too try to use this "jealousy" (I'm not sure it's the right word, maybe "envy"?) as a driving force to put myself out there and work harder or be more effective. I think sharing works from other illustrators is a great way to overcome this emotion. Engaging also. Being part of the community makes it all less negative.
I agree! It was hard to do at first as my brain wanted to hide away and feel frustrated. But I quickly realized that was doing absolutely nothing for no one. 😅
I agree with all of this! My critique group and I talk about jealousy from time to time and how it is an excellent way to direct your energy. Feeling super jealous of something? That shows you really want it too! So, that’s how I know where to focus my efforts. Celebrating others also helps too. It’s excellent advice. And, it’s true, at least for me. I am happy for them. I don’t want them not to have the thing. I just also want that thing too. So, I’ll keep going. The minute I’m not jealous, I know I can call it quits in that area.
I’ll also be in Bologna this year - say hi if you see me around!
I'm jealous of how good your jealousy post is, Kayla!!
The great @DebbieOhi had a comic about jealousy, and it gave me a lot of comfort seeing all the ways jealousy can spring up. Like even established authors being envious of brand new authors getting attention!
What has helped me most is running at top speed towards anyone who makes me jealous, AND complimenting their work.
You know I'm nodding vigorously in agreement! 😂 I usually feel more deflated than jealous, but I think all those "negative" emotions live in the same shitty neighborhood. I totally agree (and I was just chatting with someone about this just this week) that pushing other people up and sharing what inspires me in others will reward you in some cosmic, karmic, kismet-esque way. You're a really great, supportive friend to me and that never goes unnoticed. 💙
PS: I was green with envy over your Richard Scarry cars!
The deflated feeling is so real too. 🥲 I think following my "jealousy" (before I could really name it as that) and using it for good (for lack of a better phrase haha) has helped me make so many good friends and connections in the illustration world. And see their success as the subtle, complicated thing it actually was—instead of what I thought it was from the outside.
💛💛💛 Awww I'll always be cheering you on!!
PS: I AM jealous of your understanding of color and your cohesive palette!
Oh wow it’s like you’re in my head! I do always try and comment positively when people share their good news as I feel it helps me deal with it and it’s the nice thing to do. But recently I’ve felt myself avoiding Instagram because I don’t want to see anymore. I know I’m retreating and that I’ll start to feel isolated. This post has given me the jolt I need to use my envy to push myself forward. Thank you Kayla!
Oh how I completely understand that feeling—And I could feel myself starting to do the same. Just wanting to be a little grumpy hermit in my space working away. It's such a hard emotion to navigate (I could feel it coming up yesterday)...but I'm comforted that we all share it. I don't like it...but I'm comforted. haha!
I love this post and identified with so much--esp. the "NEED TO CONTROL MY DESTINY" part! FWIW, it helps me so much when I remember to (as much as I can--I'm only human!) steer my jealousy slowly toward achievements, rather than individual people. I do find that lets me channel in a more "directional" way, if, for example, I can then say, "I'm so jealous of that award! And I'm even jealous that they get to say that they are award-winning in their bio!" I can't "solve" a person jealousy problem, because I can never be someone else. But focusing on me being jealous of an award (vs. the person) might makes me think: what award can *I* apply for, like the SCBWI WIP ones or whatever, which is so much easier to deal with, and constructive. And, also then I can cheer more honestly? (Because I love the person--even if I'm steaming hot jealous of their most recent incredible achievement?)
I am probably talking nonsense, but I also 100 percent use ongoing draft Substack posts to journal, and (obviously) also love to work through things out loud. 😂
Yep, you're making sense! That's the epiphany I had too! I can use it to steer myself toward goals and control what I can. (to a degree, because like you said, we are only human haha) I LOVE the phrase "cheer more honestly". 😊
Thank you for sharing! The hunger for validation in the arts can be overwhelming at times. You're often working by yourself, compensation can be low and those outside the industry don't really understand. It's no wonder we have these feelings creep in. It's a relief to know you're not alone :)
It feels so paramount to know we aren't alone, because you're right! it does often feel like that. And families/people outside the industry don't really get it. 🥲
Thanks! I hope to keep a little sketchbook chronicling the trip!—Especially all of the different modes of transit!
Thank you for the shout, Kayla. I found my post cathartic to write and the community of people who felt the same way was helpful too. I’m still with ya on all of this
I love to way you're putting this. I too try to use this "jealousy" (I'm not sure it's the right word, maybe "envy"?) as a driving force to put myself out there and work harder or be more effective. I think sharing works from other illustrators is a great way to overcome this emotion. Engaging also. Being part of the community makes it all less negative.
I agree! It was hard to do at first as my brain wanted to hide away and feel frustrated. But I quickly realized that was doing absolutely nothing for no one. 😅
I agree with all of this! My critique group and I talk about jealousy from time to time and how it is an excellent way to direct your energy. Feeling super jealous of something? That shows you really want it too! So, that’s how I know where to focus my efforts. Celebrating others also helps too. It’s excellent advice. And, it’s true, at least for me. I am happy for them. I don’t want them not to have the thing. I just also want that thing too. So, I’ll keep going. The minute I’m not jealous, I know I can call it quits in that area.
I’ll also be in Bologna this year - say hi if you see me around!
That's it exactly! It's more of a compass, jealousy, but boy does it feel bad when it shows up.
And, yes, I hope we can get a group together in bologna! I need to make a list of everyone so I remember to look/reach out when I get there!
I'm jealous of how good your jealousy post is, Kayla!!
The great @DebbieOhi had a comic about jealousy, and it gave me a lot of comfort seeing all the ways jealousy can spring up. Like even established authors being envious of brand new authors getting attention!
What has helped me most is running at top speed towards anyone who makes me jealous, AND complimenting their work.
Yay for cheering on others, and Yay for Bologna!!
Hahahah! Thank you! 😂 I need to go find @DebbieOhi 's comic and read it! I was feeling the jealousy pop up again yesterday. 😖
I will run top speed right beside you and continue hurling compliments!
Bologna time is almost here! Let's find a time to meet up!
You know I'm nodding vigorously in agreement! 😂 I usually feel more deflated than jealous, but I think all those "negative" emotions live in the same shitty neighborhood. I totally agree (and I was just chatting with someone about this just this week) that pushing other people up and sharing what inspires me in others will reward you in some cosmic, karmic, kismet-esque way. You're a really great, supportive friend to me and that never goes unnoticed. 💙
PS: I was green with envy over your Richard Scarry cars!
The deflated feeling is so real too. 🥲 I think following my "jealousy" (before I could really name it as that) and using it for good (for lack of a better phrase haha) has helped me make so many good friends and connections in the illustration world. And see their success as the subtle, complicated thing it actually was—instead of what I thought it was from the outside.
💛💛💛 Awww I'll always be cheering you on!!
PS: I AM jealous of your understanding of color and your cohesive palette!
Oh wow it’s like you’re in my head! I do always try and comment positively when people share their good news as I feel it helps me deal with it and it’s the nice thing to do. But recently I’ve felt myself avoiding Instagram because I don’t want to see anymore. I know I’m retreating and that I’ll start to feel isolated. This post has given me the jolt I need to use my envy to push myself forward. Thank you Kayla!
Oh how I completely understand that feeling—And I could feel myself starting to do the same. Just wanting to be a little grumpy hermit in my space working away. It's such a hard emotion to navigate (I could feel it coming up yesterday)...but I'm comforted that we all share it. I don't like it...but I'm comforted. haha!
Me too! We are all here to comfort each other!
I was feeling it particularly yesterday. Thanks.
You're welcome! I hope it helped or helped you feel less alone.😅
I love this post and identified with so much--esp. the "NEED TO CONTROL MY DESTINY" part! FWIW, it helps me so much when I remember to (as much as I can--I'm only human!) steer my jealousy slowly toward achievements, rather than individual people. I do find that lets me channel in a more "directional" way, if, for example, I can then say, "I'm so jealous of that award! And I'm even jealous that they get to say that they are award-winning in their bio!" I can't "solve" a person jealousy problem, because I can never be someone else. But focusing on me being jealous of an award (vs. the person) might makes me think: what award can *I* apply for, like the SCBWI WIP ones or whatever, which is so much easier to deal with, and constructive. And, also then I can cheer more honestly? (Because I love the person--even if I'm steaming hot jealous of their most recent incredible achievement?)
I am probably talking nonsense, but I also 100 percent use ongoing draft Substack posts to journal, and (obviously) also love to work through things out loud. 😂
Yep, you're making sense! That's the epiphany I had too! I can use it to steer myself toward goals and control what I can. (to a degree, because like you said, we are only human haha) I LOVE the phrase "cheer more honestly". 😊
Thanks for sharing vulnerable feels bc I've definitely felt aaaaall this!
You're welcome! I'm glad I actually wrote it all out, and hit the publish button—even though it was a little scary at first. haha
Thank you for sharing! The hunger for validation in the arts can be overwhelming at times. You're often working by yourself, compensation can be low and those outside the industry don't really understand. It's no wonder we have these feelings creep in. It's a relief to know you're not alone :)
I'm really excited to hear how Bologna goes!
It feels so paramount to know we aren't alone, because you're right! it does often feel like that. And families/people outside the industry don't really get it. 🥲
Thanks! I hope to keep a little sketchbook chronicling the trip!—Especially all of the different modes of transit!
I'm jealous of your extraordinary ability to draw birds! Mine always look like blobs with ill-fitting beaks!
haha! Awww thank you! Birds are so weird and fun! Blobs with ill-fitting beaks actually describes some birds perfectly. 😂
Thank you for the shout, Kayla. I found my post cathartic to write and the community of people who felt the same way was helpful too. I’m still with ya on all of this
Of course! I remember reading yours and thinking "yay he feels this way too!" but also "oh no, he feels this way too!" ha