Untangling Rejection + A Cryptic Picture Book Dummy Update

I'm bad at socializing, because of my dummy.

If you don’t already know, I made a picture book dummy.¹

You spend a long time putting together a WHOLE dang book and you don’t get paid until it sells. (if it sells)
If you are an unknown and/or don’t have an established editor relationship, you pretty much HAVE to do this.

I worked on my dummy from May 2023 to late January 2024 before my agent and I thought it was ready to go on submission…

yes…the FIRST time.

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Hi! I’m Kayla Stark, an illustrator working primarily in the children’s publishing world. I write about illustration, process, publishing, and my life in general. Join in! Everyone’s welcome! All posts are free for everyone—upgrading to a paid subscription helps me continue writing these and supports all readers. Thank you!

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When a dummy or manuscript goes on submission,² you wait to hear back from editors on if they like it and want to make an offer.

A few editors wrote back pretty quickly!

And if you haven’t heard…rejection sucks!

…even when it’s paired with a nice note.

After a group of passes came in, my husband took me to my favorite restaurant and I ate my weight in pita, hummus, and za’atar fries.

I was getting similar feedback from editors (and feeling a little discouraged to be completely honest)…so I decided to pull it.

Since then, my agent and I have worked together on many many many more drafts.

All of the drafts minus two more I added after taking this screenshot…

It felt like all I did for literally months was work on this story, this dummy. I kept getting in my head about it. “Is this any good? Oh no, am I not funny?” It was important to keep it true to the story I wanted to tell…funny but also a little dark with some irony—all while taking notes from editors into consideration.

What working on it for so long did to my brain and social life:

I no longer know how to have a regular conversation…

Seeing every movie or show from a story telling perspective…

Being a workaholic and already preparing folders for more drafts…

All the days/weeks blend together. I only see the passage of time through the lists of books and podcasts I run through.

This dummy went on a JOURNEY. It’s changed, I’ve changed.
Both for the better, I think. 🙂

During the whole editing process, I got feedback from friends that helped immensely! Support from PB Pals has been getting me through. Thank you for looking at the million drafts I’ve shared! You know who you are!

Most of the editing work focused on rethinking the ending, which causes a cascade of other decisions and edits for consistency’s sake. If something is taken out, then I can’t have anything that mentions it or alludes to it in the rest of the story. Then I have to illustrate new spreads, new spots, make changes to current illustrations…it’s a whole thing.

I am crossing my fingers and wishing to the moon that after 15 total drafts, all the work will have been worth it! We officially went back on sub earlier this month! 🙌

Every new email notification spikes my heart rate!

After all the changes, I still like the original art samples!³ (that’s good right?)
Aaaaand in the downtime of waiting on feedback, I did start 3 other stories I plan to dummy! 😬

I leave you with this quote from George Saunders on talent that has sat with me.

“How adept is a given writer at figuring out his strengths and weaknesses (and making a book out of that dynamic)?  How well does he do with adversity and rejection?  Can he learn to revise, or is he going to be stuck with his first drafts forever?”

XOXO
Kayla

1. A rough mockup of a picture book with text and illustrations that you and/or your agent will send to editors in order to sell the idea.

2. “submission” is what it’s called when your picture book dummy/manuscript is sent out (submitted) to editors at various publishers. It’s torture…and calls for an ungodly amount of patience.

3. You often take a few of the illustrations in the dummy to “final” to show what you have in mind for the artwork.