Momentum and Community

I said hey! a-what's going on?

Hi! I’m Kayla Stark, an illustrator working primarily in the children’s publishing world. I write about illustration, process, publishing, and my life in general. Join in! Everyone’s welcome! All posts are free for everyone—upgrading to a paid subscription helps me continue writing these and supports all readers. Thank you!

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my current brain

Momentum. Who is she? I’ve lost it.

I worked, head down, for over a year…I was happy, it felt like things were moving forward. Then I went on vacation AND had another trip planned right after.

My head was out of the ostrich hole. I looked around and realized I wasn’t exactly happy with where I found myself. Burnout hit. I thought I’d experienced it before, but oh baby baby this was something else.

Not only did I come to a screeching halt on illustration productivity. I realized I was pretty ding dang disconnected from the art community/community in general around me. Now I’m kind of (definitely) obsessing over getting involved again.

“So, Kayla what ARE you doing about it?”
I’m so glad you asked, I’ve been wanting to talk about it.
This what I’ve been doing…

Don’t apologize

First and foremost, we’re just animals with big brains. We can’t continue at max capacity indefinitely. So I’m not apologizing for burning out and needing to reassess. It finally came for me. And I got the “sads”.

Reassess Goals / Redefine Success

What do I even want? This is a BIG question, and will take some solid reflection time. What goals have I met? (celebrate those!) What goals don’t line up anymore? And in terms of “success”, if I need to take some time away from writing/illustrating that’s OKAY. I’m not quitting; I’m not even pausing; just giving it¹ some desperately needed breathing room.

what does it even mean?

Do Something You Like

I went on a baking MARATHON. (cookies, babka, bread, cinnamon rolls, galettes, focaccia, I’m sure I’m forgetting something, it was a lot) I almost burned out here too…be careful.

Part Time Job / Volunteer

The baking marathon led me to realize, I want to find part time work at a local bakery. AND that will help me feel like I’m part of the community—not isolated, working from my tower.² I also decided to volunteer with my local Creative Mornings chapter/get more involved in the art world directly around me. (Note: Deciding I wanted to find some part time work outside of the house brought a wave of peace over my mind.)

This is what i’ve been telling myself when it feels like I’m going backwards

Friends

Lean on friends, talk with them. They will probably even have words of wisdom and offer a perspective you hadn’t considered. You won’t be bothering them. This was hard for me to accept, but I’m so glad I did.

Keep taking the next step

Back to “momentum”. I have to slowly build it up again, and not let myself get stagnant, by taking a small step every day. Maybe that’s working for 30min-1 hour on a book pitch. Or telling people that I want to work at a local bakery and asking for help with connections. Or just getting up and making a list. As my friend recently so eloquently put it “sometimes 10% is that day’s 100%”.

I still want to write and illustrate books, but I also want to get out of my house and be part of the community. I want to organize and participate in art shows; I want to be with my friends; I want to see shows (music and comedy); and enjoy my one precious life!

I was previously in the “work in solitude/building” phase, and now I am solidly in the “I need community and connection” phase. It just took an interruption to realize there was an imbalance. I’m slowing down, but I’m not stopping. And that’s okay for now!

For accountability’s sake on regaining some momentum, I’m telling you that I am currently working on my 2nd background/value challenge piece. AND I’m working on writing/dummying a seasonal, novelty book. :)

How’s everyone else doing? Honestly!

I’ll be back next time with more arty, illustration thoughts and process. :)

Love ya!

K

1. it = writing/illustrating. I’ve been forcing productivity for a while and it’s not feeling that great at the moment. But it will again. I’m not worried.

2. I love my space, but it can get lonely after a while.