Do you ever feel like the biggest fraud? Today was ROUGH in illustration land. I worked and worked and worked on a piece that just seemed off somehow. I couldn’t put my finger on why it felt off. It just did. But I had already worked on it for so long it felt prudent to keep going.
It could have felt wrong for any number of reasons (or a combo):
I was working at a gargantuan scale I’m not comfortable with yet.
I was working on watercolor paper I’ve never used before. (it was the only paper big enough, see previous point)
It’s for a book about birds, which I LOVE, so I want to do a good job and I am seriously overthinking everything.
I wasn’t trusting myself or my creative decisions. I kept looking at how other artists solved similar problems instead of asking myself how I would solve the problem.
I’m part of an online group of illustrators that are so helpful and supportive. I asked them what they thought of the piece and they gave great advice. On a day where I second guessed myself at every turn, this was invaluable. PSA—join a group of your peers (online or in person), learn from each other, invest in each other, it’s good for you!
Reading that list back, I see that I wasn’t setting myself up for success. And then I was punishing myself verbally for not doing a good job. Ultimately the decision of “what to do next?” was up to me, so I’m going back to a paper and a size that feel comfortable for now. AND I’m going to work in a way that feels fun and intuitive to me (or at least try, as this always seems to be changing—a topic for anther time). New paper and new sizes will be for another day when I’m not on deadline. :)
The redeeming part of this frustrating day was realizing that I didn’t actually waste hours of my time, even though it feels like it. I learned what I didn’t want to do and now the next piece will go faster and be better. I’ll save this first version and show a side by side when I’m allowed to share the art. In the meantime, here is a small section that was working for me. Too bad it’s just a small, inconsequential corner. :/
We all have “I just can’t seem to draw today” days. Today was definitely one for me, and it really got in my head. Let’s commiserate in the comments, I know how you feel.
The Odd Podcast Episode 2 Coming Soon
Vivien joined me again for another episode of The Odd Podcast. For round two, we flow right into the topic of having multiple illustration styles. Is it helpful? Is it hurtful? How would we showcase it? Why do it at all?, etc.
It’s recorded, I just have to do minimal edits. Look for it later this week and in the meantime if you haven’t listened to the first episode yet, you can do that here!
Ugh, I "worked" (over-thought, over-worked, over-referenced) a personal piece into the ground yesterday. I was feeling super down on myself and that's lingering today so I appreciate this post and your attitude! 💙